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Today, Thursday, 01 - February - 2007, my 29th birthday, my fiancée took a page from my "sneaky" handbook and, with a willing conspirator, arranged to have flowers delivered to my office earlier this afternoon. It was certainly an unexpected yet very pleasant surprise. Here are some pics of the flowers and the card:
Thank you to my sweet, beloved fiancée for these flowers. They really brightened my birthday this year. :)
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Thu, 2006-10-26, 15:02 PDT (-0700)Song for the day
Why Should I Cry For You By: Sting Under the dog star sail Over the reefs of moonshine Under the skies of fall North, north west, the stones of Faroe Under the Arctic fire Over the seas of silence Hauling on frozen ropes For all my days remaining But would north be true? All colours bleed to red Asleep on the ocean's bed Drifting on empty seas For all my days remaining But would north be true? Why should I? Why should I cry for you? Dark angels follow me Over a godless sea Mountains of endless falling, For all my days remaining, What would be true? Sometimes I see your face, The stars seem to lose their place Why must I think of you? Why must I? Why should I? Why should I cry for you? Why would you want me to? And what would it mean to say, That, "I loved you in my fashion"? What would be true? Why should I? Why should I cry for you?
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Tue, 2006-10-24, 13:01 PDT (-0700)Song for the day...
Easy To Ignore By: Sixpence None The Richer You and the moon are a beautiful sight to me. The stars in your eyes make it really hard to see you. A night in the sun is all I really want. You and me with the best of both for once. Night breaks. My heart could not ache anymore. Am I that easy to ignore? You let your song blow right through me. Your mighty intellect makes you mighty hard to see. Will there come a time for me to be more to you, more to me? Night breaks. My heart could not ache anymore. Am I that easy to ignore?
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Wed, 2006-10-18, 16:38 PDT (-0700)In my ongoing quest to find more freely available useful tooks and utilities which can be easily run from a USB flash drive, I have found the following bits:
Some more lists of portable applications can be found here:
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Fri, 2006-10-13, 17:12 PDT (-0700)With USB flash drives rapidly going up in capacity while dropping in price (a while ago I got a Lexar 128MB flash drive for roughly $50, last week I got a Memorex 1GB flash drive for $17.99) it is not surprising that usage of the device has become more widespread. A lot of people I know now own at least one flash drive and when I started looking around for useful tools and utilities that could be run from a flash drive I was amazed at just how much stuff people have come up with that can run from a USB flash drive - from dinky little tools and utilities to full-fledged office applications to Operating Systems (OSes) such as various distributions of Linux.
The big advantage of having such applications on a flash drive and having them able to run directly from the flash drive without requiring installation to the host machine is the fact that one can now take their favorite tools and applications with them and run them wherever there is a computer. One could theoretically go to someone else's computer, plug in the USB drive and have full access to one's favorite tools, applications, even your preferred Linux distribution. When you are done using the computer, just unplug the flash drive and you are done. You do not leave behind a mess on the host machine because you did not have to install any applications on the host.
Here are just a few of the cool (and free) tools and utilities that I have found which can be installed and can run from a flash drive:
Here are some lists that other people have put up of tools and utilities which can run from a USB flash drive:
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Thu, 2006-09-28, 22:29 PDT (-0700)Song for the day...
The Warrior is a Child (Words and music by Twila Paris) Lately I've been winning battles left and right But even winners can get wounded in the fight People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years But they don't see inside of me, I'm hiding all the tears They don't know that I go running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and cry for just a while Deep inside this armour - the warrior is a child. Unafraid because His armour is the best But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest. People say that I'm amazing - never face retreat But they don't see the enemies that lay me at His feet. They don't know that I go running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and look up for a smile 'Cause deep inside this armour... Deep inside this armour... Deep inside this armour... The warrior is a child.
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Thu, 2006-09-07, 22:07 PDT (-0700)I didn't want to have to resort to blacklisting IP addresses. The difficulty with blacklisting IP addresses is the dynamic nature of the internet wherein an IP can easily be re-assigned to a different host; hence you may wind up accidentally blocking someone who has done nothing wrong. But, since the writeback_akismet plugin, while slowing down the flow of comment spam, still let a lot of comment spam through, I decided to bite the bullet and blacklist by IP.
The blacklist plugin for bloxsom, I obtained here: http://fletcher.freeshell.org/wiki/BlacklistPlugin. So far, just based on the comment spam I've received over the past 24 hours, I've built up an IP blacklist of almost two dozen entries (thank goodness that the writeback_akismet plugin logs IPs for the comments). I really hope that this works. If the flow of comment spam still doesn't stop (or at least slow down to a trickle) I may just disable writebacks altogether. We'll see...
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Tue, 2006-09-05, 19:57 PDT (-0700)I have to confess, one reason why I haven't been blogging as of late (aside from time constraints) is the fact that I've been avoiding going to my own site to deal with all the comment spam. The original writeback plugin for blosxom has no mechanism for filtering comment spam (such as via some sort of CAPTCHA mechanism) so any comment spammer can just leave spam in the writebacks.
It came to a head when, on my last vacation back home to the Philippines, my blog had become inaccessible due to the sheer amount of comment spam that had been left. After manually cleaning up the comment spam, I started contemplating ways to address the comment spam issue. But I never found a possible solution until now.
While searching on google for ways to address the comment spam issue with blosxom blogs, I found the writeback_akismet plugin, which the author has made available via his weblog here:
http://kevin.scaldeferri.com/blog/2006/05/06/WritebackAkismet.html
It appealed to me because the configuration changes required were minimal since it was essentially designed as a replacement for the original writeback plugin. What can I say, I'm lazy and I like to minimize changes. :)
Since I had already gone with the default setup for the original writeback plugin, all I did was replace the writeback plugin with the updated writeback_akismet plugin (renamed to writeback so it would act as a drop-in replacement) and modified the following variable:
my $wordpress_api_key = undef;Getting the api key was quite simply a process of creating an account at wordpress.com and once the account was successfully created I got my api key.
To test if it was working, I found a post that had some comment spam and tried to manually replicate it in a comment. I was happy to see that the new plugin came back with a message that the comment had been held for moderation. So I can tell that it does do its job of blocking comments that look like spam. :)
Only time will tell how effective it will be in the long term but for now, it looks like it's doing its job and I'm happy. :)
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Wed, 2006-07-05, 00:00 PDT (-0700)Mitzi and I have created a blog to let people know how our wedding preparations are coming along. Please drop by if you get the chance. The URL is: http://junbyandmitzi.blogspot.com/
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Mon, 2006-07-03, 19:07 PDT (-0700)Congratulations to Rubin Anthoney Villarreal and Jennifer Rose Saguisag-Villarreal on their wedding last Saturday, 01-July-2006.
I wish you both the best as you embark on your journey as a married couple.
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Fri, 2006-06-30, 16:04 PDT (-0700)(With apologies to Kate and Melissa for taking so long; didn't realize anyone actually bothered to read my blog. :-P)
So I flew out to Bacolod on the morning of June 11th, 2006. It was a 9am flight and it was about 1 hour long in duration so I arrived in Bacolod airport sometime after 10am. I'd asked Mitzi to arrange for a rental car since (1) I was already so used to driving myself around that taking public transportation seemed like such a hassle, and (2) since June 12th was a holiday in the Philippines and we planned to go out of town, having our own vehicle would be a lot more convenient and reliable than having to take public transportation to get around. So Mitzi met me at the airport and we drove the rental car back into the city proper (the airport is over in the outskirts of Bacolod city).
Pepe and Renee Ledesma, a couple from the BCBP community (same as I and my parents) as well as being good friends with Mitzi and I, had agreed to host me for the first half of my stay in Bacolod so our first stop was at their home to drop off my belongings. Then I had lunch out with Mitzi, then dropped her off for her review (she is reviewing for the teacher's board which will be in August of this year) in the afternoon. I spent the afternoon looking for a place to get flowers, eventually enlisting the help of her sister and one of her cousins to help me find a florist. After her review was over we went to mass together, then went to her home since she was hosting a small celebration (mainly family and a few close friends) for her birthday.
The celebration went well; it was a simple dinner get-together of family and friends. Mitzi had fun snapping pictures and playing with the digital camera I got her for her birthday. People were starting to filter out by around 10:30pm and by the time I left at around 11pm, I think I was the last guest to leave. (Yet another advantage to having the rental car was that I did not have to worry about getting a cab ride home; Bacolod still retains that provincial air such that public transportation pretty much stops running by 10pm, at the latest.)
June 12th is a public holiday in the Philippines (Independence Day) so we spent the whole day together just touring around. I'll detail that in the next blog entry since I really should be getting back to work now... :P (Sorry to Kate and Melissa for leaving you guys hanging again; don't worry, I'll eventually detail the event of the entire trip. Eventually...)
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Tue, 2006-06-27, 21:05 PDT (-0700)So I flew out from San Francisco airport on the evening of Wednesday, 07-June-2006. The departure of the flight was delayed by a couple of hours; it was scheduled to depart at around 10:10pm but instead we finally departed from SFO past midnight. My cousin John Paul was kind enough to drive me up to the airport on Wednesday evening. And since the flight was delayed, he was again kind enough to keep me company for a few more hours. We had dinner along with my Uncle Pitchus and Auntie Nellie up in Daly City since I had not yet eaten dinner.
Incidentally, I just have to make an appeal to the people who run the check-in counters at PAL: Next time, have us get our hand-carried luggage tagged at check-in time, please do not make us line up again a couple of hours prior to departing just to get all the hand-carried luggage tagged as such. It would just be so much more efficient that way.
But anyway, the flight back home was fairly uneventful, albeit long. The flight back took a total of approximately 16 hours, including a stopover in Guam for refueling. Since there was a delay in departing from SFO, our arrival in Manila was also delayed a couple of hours: instead of arriving at around 5:35am on Friday, 09-June-2006, the flight arrived sometime after 7:00am.
My only major annoyance: It took me forever to claim my luggage. I kid you not, I may have been one of the last people to claim my luggage. I think it was over an hour after the plane landed that I finally walked out of the airport with all my luggage in tow. :-P
Later in the day of Friday after I took a bit of time to rest and recuperate after the long trip I got a haircut. On Friday evening I went out for dinner with my parents, my sister Ani, my brother-in-law Onggie and their youngest son, Chikoy.
Saturday I went to Guagua, Pampanga, to see the rest of Ani and Onggie's kids. In the afternoon I went to watch Cars with the kids while Ani and Onggie went to watch The Da Vinci Code.
Sunday was Mitzi's 27th birthday so I flew out to Bacolod on Sunday morning so I could celebrate her birthday with her. I will continue to blog more about the events in a subsequent entry. For now, gotta go and get some dinner.
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Tue, 2006-06-27, 20:23 PDT (-0700)On the evening of Friday, June 16, 2006, I got engaged to the most wonderful woman I know, the love of my life, Ms. Ma. Theresita "Mitzi" F. Ramos.
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Tue, 2006-06-27, 16:44 PDT (-0700)I was having problems with getting the blog to show up over the past few weeks and it turned out to be due to the excessive amount of comment spam. After having cleaned up all the spam, the blog is showing up fine now.
Having the blog offline the whole time I was overseas (I was back in the Philippines from 09-June-2006 until 23-June-2006) was pretty frustrating since I wanted to blog about what I was up to but for now, I am happy the blog is back online again. Yay! :-)
Will try to put up some blog entries to "summarize" what I have been up to the two weeks I was in the Philippines. I have a bunch of photos I wish to share, too. Please stay tuned!
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Wed, 2006-05-17, 14:20 PDT (-0700)Song for the day.
My Stupid Mouth (words and music by: John Mayer) My stupid mouth Has got me in trouble I said too much again To a date over dinner yesterday And I could see she was offended She said "well anyway..." Just dying for a subject change Oh, another social casualty Score one more for me How could I forget? Mama said "think before speaking" No filter in my head Oh, whats a boy to do? I guess he better find one soon We bit our lips. She looked out the window Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper I played a quick game of chess with the Salt and pepper shaker And I could see clearly An indelible line was drawn Between what was good, what just Slipped out and what went wrong. Oh, the way she feels about me has changed Thanks for playing, try again. How could I forget? Mama said "think before speaking" No filter in my head Oh, what's a boy to do? I guess he better find one I'm never speaking up again. It only hurts me I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me Oh I'm never speaking up again Starting now One more thing. Why is it my fault? So maybe I try too hard But it's all because of this desire I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny Looks like the jokes on me So call me captain backfire I'm never speaking up again. It only hurts me I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me Oh, I'm never speaking up again Starting now
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Fri, 2006-05-12, 17:29 PDT (-0700)Here are a couple of my favorite quotes on the hazards of falling in love. Loving is definitely not for the faint of heart.
"Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers any more. Only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I've been given the choice; as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal." - Shadowlands
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love." - The character "Rose Walker" in The Sandman #65, by Neil Gaiman
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Thu, 2006-05-11, 18:29 PDT (-0700)Song for the day.
Missing (words and music by Evanescence) Please, please forgive me, But I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up, And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one: "Isn't something missing?" You won't cry for my absence, I know - You forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant...? Am I so insignificant...? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me? Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't someone missing me? Please, please forgive me, But I won't be home again. I know what you do to yourself, I breathe deep and cry out: "Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?" Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't someone missing me? And if I bleed, I'll bleed, Knowing you don't care. And if I sleep just to dream of you And wake without you there, Isn't something missing? Isn't something... Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?
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Mon, 2006-05-08, 13:27 PDT (-0700)The results of today's random quiz are in:
I'm a Ford Mustang!
You're an American classic -- fast, strong, and bold. You're not snobby or pretentious, but you have what it takes to give anyone a run for their money.
"Take the Which Sports Car Are You?" quiz.
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Sat, 2006-04-29, 16:18 PDT (-0700)The Tagalog phrase "bukas palad" (literally translating to "open palm") means "generous". For many Filipinos though, and especially Ateneans, the phrase is also associated with the highly acclaimed musical group, Bukas Palad music ministry.
The year 2006 sees Bukas Palad celebrating its 20th year anniversary, quite an achievement for a musical group that traces its roots to a group of people that originally got together to sing at a friend's wedding.
The concluding performance of their U.S. Concert Tour was last night, where they performed at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Milpitas, CA. As soon as I found out that they were going to be in town a few weeks ago there was no doubt in my mind that I was going to see them perform. Their music was very much a part of my life growing up (the music of Bukas Palad is sung in churches throughout the Philippines as well as in many countries overseas whenever Filipinos come together to celebrate mass or just to sing songs of worship) and especially in my college years since most of the members of Bukas Palad are from the Ateneo de Manila University and their music is inspired by the spirituality of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit order (the Ateneo de Manila is a Jesuit institution).
So it was that I found myself leaving the office yesterday at around 5:30pm, heading over to Milpitas to catch the performance. I arrived at the church at around 6:15pm and prompty queued up to enter the church (I had already bought a ticket the weekend prior). They did not open the doors and let people into the church until around 7:00pm; good thing I brought my PSP and my Advent Children UMD to keep me occupied as I waited in line. Once inside I found a seat at the end of one of the pews, along the center aisle so I had a fairly unobstructed view of the members as they sang. The performance started on schedule (7:30pm, give or take a few minutes) and went on for about 2 hours with a 15 minute intermission between sets. The songs they chose to sing that evening were a mix of old and new, and I found myself feeling nostalgic as I sang along to many of the familiar songs (many of which I still know the lyrics by heart) and tried to follow along with the newer songs since the program that was distributed contained the lyrics.
Once the performance was over (far too quickly, it seemed), the members of Bukas Palad stayed to mingle and signed autographs for people who had bought merchandise (CDs and song books were on sale outside the church; sadly, their latest CD, "God of Silence" had already sold out by the time of their prior performance down in L.A., so I guess I will have to wait until I next go back to the Philippines to get a copy). I was able to meet some members I had never met before (Angel Quianzon, Rica Santos, Michelle Ching, Jandi Arboleda) and also some people I had known back in college (Jowi de Guzman, albeit I do not know Jowi all that well). Shame I had left my CDs of "The Best of Bukas Palad" (volumes one and two) back at home, otherwise I would have asked them to sign them. They are supposed to sing at the 7:00pm Tagalog mass later though, so maybe I can still get a couple of autographs out of them later. :-)
All in all, it was a great performance by a stellar group of people and it was a wonderful way to spend a Friday evening. I will make sure to catch them again the next time they perform here in the bay area.
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Sat, 2006-03-25, 21:11 PST (-0800)I mentioned in an earlier blog entry that I recently got myself an electric bass guitar as part of my efforts to develop my musical skills and since I have a few minutes available at the moment while I am waiting for some file copy operations to finish up, I figured I should write up something. I did say in my earlier blog entry that I would blog some more about it, anyway.
My quest for getting an electric bass began with me browsing the Musician's Friend website looking for a good starter / beginner bass. I quickly decided that I wanted the Ibanez GSR190BK (I am partial to Ibanez guitars, I guess; my electric guitar is an Ibanez JS1000WH), which is part of the Ibanez IJSB190BK Bass Jumpstart Pack. Only annoyance for me was that I really did not want most of the other stuff in the pack. I already had a tuner, cables and headphones, and the starter amp that came with it did not have a lot of rave reviews so I was expecting I would eventually want a better amp, anyway.
The next step was to check out if any of the local stores had one in stock. I was hoping that I could find one by itself without having to buy the entire jumpstart pack. A trip to Guitar Showcase one evening led me to finding a GSR190BK retailing by itself (no pack). Perfect. :)
By this time I had figured that, while I was not planning on getting a bass amp yet, some sort of headphone amp would be great. I also figured that I would want to get some sort of multi-effects pedal for it, similar in spirit to the Zoom GFX707 Guitar Effects Processor I have for my electric and the Zoom 504 Acoustic I have for my acoustic guitar. Again, by browsing through the Musician's Friend website I decided that the Digitech BP80 Bass Modeling Processor had the features I wanted (it had the multi-effects, an expression pedal and had a headphone output, it even had a drum machine), it had good reviews and would fit my budget.
So anyway, here are a few photos of me and my new 4-stringed toy. I have put fresh strings on it and "accessorized" it with a Wedgie Bass Pick Holder holding a 1.14mm Jim Dunlop Gator Grip Standard Pick and a 2.0 mm Jim Dunlop Big Stubby Pick and a black DiMarzio 2 Inch Nylon Cliplock strap with a black Dickies Pick Pocket:
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Fri, 2006-03-24, 13:43 PST (-0800)A neat way of folding t-shirts that looks a lot faster than the usual way of doing things:
Anthony.Nemitz - Best trick in the world
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Sun, 2006-03-19, 22:25 PST (-0800)I recently re-discovered Tuck and Patti and after listening to one of their earlier albums, "Tears Of Joy", I want to dedicate this song to my wonderful girlfriend, Mitzi. One of these days (hopefully sooner rather than later), I am actually going to learn how to play this on guitar and I will try to serenade her with this.
"Takes My Breath Away" (Tuck and Patti) Sometimes it amazes me How strong the power of love can be Sometimes you just take my breath away You watch my love grow, like a child Sometimes gentle and sometimes wild Sometimes you just take my breath away Chorus: And it's too good to slip by It's too good to lose To good to be there, just to use I'm gonna stand on a mountain top And tell the news That you take my breath away Your beauty is there in all I see And when I feel your eyes on me Oooh... don't you know you just take my breath away Say my life is yours, My heart will be, singing for you eternally Oh, don't you know you just take my breath away (to chorus) Sometimes it amazes me How strong the power of love can be Oooh don't you know, you just take my, take my breath away Oh my life is yours, my heart will be Singing for you, eternally Oh, don't you know, you just take my, take my breath away (to chorus)
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Sun, 2006-03-19, 22:03 PST (-0800)Hmmm... it has been a while since I last updated this blog with something personal. The main reason for that is because I find myself short on free time nowadays. Work (as usual) tends to eat up a lot of my time, especially with all the work items related to the spin-out adding to the usual work backlog. Oh well.
But anyway, I currently find that I have a few minutes free while I have a bunch of automated scripts running (I am at work as I write this; surprise, surprise) so I figured that since it is currently the middle of Lent I should blog a bit about what I have been up to for Lent.
Firstly, since one of the most common "traditions" associated with Lent is giving something up. So for this lenten season, I have decided to do the following: (1) fast on all of the Fridays of Lent (and by "fast" I mean I am not eating any meals at all), (2) no video gaming for Lent, and (3) no buying of any anime or anime-related items.
When I was discussing what I was giving up with my girlfriend she posed the question to me of what I was doing to replace these. It was a very good point since, more than just giving something up, we should use the "free time" that would normally be taken up by those activities for things more productive. In my case, since giving up video gaming meant I would have a bit more free time late in the evening when I got home I decided upon the following: (1) get back into reading, and especially during the Lenten season read books which are helpful in strengthening my faith, and (2) put more effort into developing my musical skills.
As far as the reading goes, I am currently reading a book titled, "The Da Vinci Hoax: Exposing the Errors in The Da Vinci Code" which, as far as I can tell, is a very well-researched book debunking the claims made in the bestselling novel "The Da Vinci Code". As entertaining as the novel (yes, I have read it), I found its claims to be based upon fact not ringing true at all, especially in light of my (albeit limited) knowledge of the Catholic church. So far, I am about 1/4 of the way through this book.
As far as developing my musical skills goes, I have done a few things. The first thing is that I got myself a metronome to help me with developing my sense of time. Next, I have been trying to define a practice routine where I spend at least half an hour a day in focused practice. Then, I also decided to expand my musical horizons by trying to learn how to play electric bass guitar. I will blog more about learning the electric bass guitar in a different entry. Lastly, I also decided to brush up on my drumming rudiments (I probably will never get back to playing drums but it was the first instrument I learned how to play so I do not think I will ever completely let go of it) so I got a practice pad and a new set of drumsticks (Neil Peart autograph model sticks since I admire his playing so much) and try to practice drum rudiments when I can.
Anyway, back to work for me so I can hopefully head out of the office soon.
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Mon, 2006-03-06, 21:58 PST (-0800)Found this on Brad Abrams' blog. You have to be a geek to get the humor in this one. I guess I must really be a geek because this contains some of the funniest stuff I have read in a long time...
Brad Abrams : "Best" method names ever...
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Sat, 2006-03-04, 19:38 PST (-0800)Some days, you are the pigeon. Other days, you are the statue. Today, I feel like I am the statue. These lyrics from the Alanis Morissette song "Perfect" pretty much captures how I feel today:
Sometimes is never quite enough If you're flawless, then you'll win my love Don't forget to win first place Don't forget to keep that smile on your face Be a good boy Try a little harder You've got to measure up Make me prouder How long before you screw it up How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up With everything I do for you The least you can do is keep quiet Be a good girl You've gotta try a little harder That simply was not good enough To make us proud I'll live through you I'll make you what I never was If you're the best, then maybe so am I Compared to him compared to her I'm doing this for your own damn good To make up for what I blew What's the problem...why are you crying Be a good boy Push a little farther now That wasn't fast enough To make us happy We love you just the way you are if you're perfect
I know you cannot please everybody, but lately it seems like despite everything I do, I just keep falling short of pleasing anybody...
"Well, maybe if you gave that little bit more extra effort, you would get that 'outstanding' rating..."
"Well, maybe if you lost some weight..."
"Well, maybe if you went first instead of waiting for them to reach out..."
"Well, maybe if you shaved off that stupid looking facial hair..."
"Well, maybe if you spent less time at the office..."
Today is one of those days when I am just so damned tired of it all...
I suppose I can take comfort in the fact that at least no matter what I do serve some purpose. As the phrase goes, "if you cannot be an example, you can always serve as a warning."
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Wed, 2006-03-01, 11:53 PST (-0800)Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of the season of Lent, the 40 day period of preparation leading up to Easter Sunday. For anyone curious about its history and its significance, here is an informative article on the history of Ash Wednesday and why it is such an important day for Catholics:
Ash Wednesday: Our Shifting Understanding of Lent
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Tue, 2006-02-28, 14:06 PST (-0800)Since today is Mardi Gras (literally "Fat Tuesday") I figure I should put up something about the religious significance of this day. But since I am too lazy to actually write something, I will just post a link:
Catholic Roots of Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday History
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Fri, 2006-02-24, 14:39 PST (-0800)Stumbled across this hilarious video while I was browsing Raymond Chen's blog, The Old New Thing:
Tripod perform at a Comedy Festival - Google Video
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Tue, 2006-02-21, 18:32 PST (-0800)Wow, just realized it has been over a month since I posted anything on this blog. I guess I am about due for an update on what has been happening for the past month (not that I think there are a lot of people out there who are actually keeping an eye on this blog, anyway).
So this past weekend was Presidents' Day weekend so we had the Monday (20-Feb-2006) off as a holiday. As it so happened, we had an old friend (former co-worker) who was going to be in the area (Lake Tahoe counts as "in the area" when you consider that she is now based out of New York) so myself, Hobbes, Cavscout and Kal headed up to Tahoe to meet up with Min and also just to get out of town, even for a little while. Hobbes already blogged about our little jaunt out of town so I will not add any more commentary to it. But I do want to post the group pic that we took that afternoon after we had lunch:
That is Cavscout there in the back with the "I am the Godfather" expression on his face and from left to right in the foreground is Kal, Min, myself and Hobbes.
Hmmm... what else has been up recently...
Valentine's Day was an uneventful day for me. I called up Mitzi and talked to her for a bit on the phone in the morning (evening of Valentine's Day her time) and confirmed that the flowers and chocolates I had sent did arrive. I also sent a bouquet of flowers to my mom which she appreciated.
Two weeks ago (give or take) it was announced that Borland was spinning out the Integrated Development Environment (IDE) / development tools team to its own separate company. As a developer who has been working with the Delphi IDE since I first joined the company in 1998, it was fairly obvious that I would end up going with the spin out rather than remaining with the parent company. As expected, there has been a lot of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt (FUD) regarding the future of both Borland and the future spin-out but overall I think this is a good thing. Over the years Borland has shifted its focus from development tools to Application Lifecycle Management (ALM) and it has often been the case that the ALM goals did not fit well with the goals of the IDE team so there was a lot of contention going on. This spin out allows us (the IDE team) to focus on what we do best while allowing Borland to work on the ALM goals without worrying about how it may adversely affect the IDE bits. Of course, there is always a possibility that things will go south but overall I am cautiously optimistic that with the right buyer, we could do so many good things with the IDE line of products. Fingers crossed.
Three weeks ago I had my 28th birthday and on that day I got what I pretty much hoped for: A casual day where nothing went wrong. :-) I got to talk to Mitzi in the morning, had a casual day at work where there were no "fire drills", I was able to leave work early and I spent the evening at my aunt's place where I had a simple, quiet dinner with family.
And that covers the "highlights" of the past few weeks.
Other random bits:
My sister has now joined the blogging ranks via Yahoo! 360°. Her profile is here: Yahoo! 360° - Lea's Profile.
I also recently stumbled across the online journal of a fellow Atenean and a fellow Computer Science major here: http://www.cherubelle.net/. It is fun reading about how things are going back at Ateneo de Manila University, as told through the eyes of a student (currently a junior) with the same major as myself.
And... I think that will be it for now. Hopefully, I will be able to update more often than once a month next time. :-)
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Tue, 2006-01-17, 23:54 PST (-0800)Recently scanned in some studio photos of me with my girlfriend. This is from our college days in 1998:
These two were taken during my recent trip to Bacolod:
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Mon, 2006-01-16, 23:35 PST (-0800)I am currently on the airplane, Philippine Airlines flight PR104 flying from Manila (MNL) to San Francisco (SFO) as I write this. It is Sunday, 15-January-2006, 9:18AM PST (Monday, 16-January-2006 1:18AM Manila time) as I write this.
Let me just say first off that working on a laptop (especially a Dell Inspiron B120 which is really not the most compact machine out there) while sitting in economy class is a challenge. This is the first time I have actually tried using a laptop while travelling on an airplane and it certain is a tight fit in here. Maybe if I were sitting in Business or First Class I could work in a more manageable fashion. Or maybe if I had a smaller laptop (a Sony Vaio or a small iBook comes to mind); but I really cannot stand those tiny keyboards.
But anyway, I am feeling really, really, really restless and I cannot sleep. Not just because I typically cannot sleep on a plane, anyway (I find it really difficult to get comfortable enough to actually sleep while sitting in an economy class airplane seat, so at most I might doze for about 15 minutes or so, but then I jolt myself awake), but also because my mind and heart is in a state of turmoil. Various thoughts and emotions are just coursing through my mind and body at the moment, and as I write this I am attempting to sort through the turmoil and "get it all out of my system" so to speak.
To present the issue as simple as possible, what it really boils down to is that I am not looking forward to going back to California.
There are several factors at work here, of course. Some are quite simple, others are quite nebulous and unclear.
The most obvious factor (to my mind, anyway) why I am not looking forward to flying back is because it essentially signifies that it is time for me to go back to work. Done is my easygoing vacation schedule where I just wake up whatever time I want to, sleep whatever time I want to, and no pressures for me to get stuff done at the office. This flight is scheduled to arrive in SFO at 6:30PM of 15-January-2006 (PST) and I am already scheduled to report back to work the next day. No rest for the wicked, as the saying goes. No rest day or two for me this time between my arrival back in California and my return to the office.
Even beyond just the simple, "I do not look forward to going back to the office because it signifies the end of my vacation" emotion, I am just not looking forward to returning to work. Maybe it is the thought of the amount of work I need to do (updates, inlines, etc., I know I already have a ton of work ahead of me and I may not have another respite until late Q2 - 2006 which is months away). Or maybe I am just finding my duties at work becoming more of a drudgery than something I find fulfillment in.
If I attempt to do an honest self-analysis of where I am right now, I am seriously concerned that I am already a burnout case. Sure, I can still push myself hard and produce high-quality (in my mind, anyway -- my peers and our management team could quite possibly think otherwise) results but the old drive to excel in everything is just not there anymore. After having worked in my company for almost 8 years now, the well is starting to run dry.
Maybe I need to go on some sort of year-long sabbatical (it has been over 7 years anyway, and it seems like being away from work for over a month on vacation i.e. early June to early July 2005, still has not restored my former energy and zeal) and really get away from it all.
And I am feeling homesick. Funny, huh? I have been living and working in California since 1998 and it is only now that I am feeling homesick.
Maybe it is because this past New Year, as we said goodbye to the year 2005 and began the year 2006, was the first time since 1997 that I was reunited with my entire immediate family and we were able to spend the holidays together. This holiday season was the first time that I, my sister Lea (now based in Singapore), my other sister Ani (based out of Quezon City) and my brother Oni (now based in Cebu) joined my parents at our house in Parañaque and greeted the New Year as a family.
We also took this opportunity to convene a "Family Council" (as my father put it) and during this meeting we discussed various things which we, as a family, were facing. We discussed things such as what to do about the various properties our family had in the Philippines, what my parents were planning to do now that both my father and my mother are now officially retired, what the families of my brother and sisters were planning to do, my own state of life (I am the remaining single holdout, though time will tell what the future holds for me and my darling girlfriend Mitzi), things like that.
It has been a while since I felt this close to my family. Maybe it is the fact that, after having had our family council, our family has a better view now of what are the things we want to accomplish as a family, and this renewed vision has brought us closer together.
However, the knowledge that my father has finally decided to retire has also highlighted the fact that, as he said so himself during our family council, both he and my mom are not getting any younger. None of us are. And the reality that the amount of time I have remaining with them is limited, is really setting in.
Funny. When I was still based in the Philippines I wanted nothing more than to be free to go out and live my own life. However, now that I am essentially on another continent and I am free to do whatever I wish, I find myself wanting to spend more quality time with my parents.
I know I am not alone in this. In a couple of recent email exchanges I have had with my siblings, more than once we have brought up the notion of wanting to spend more time with our parents and wanting to make sure that they were comfortable and happy in their retirement. It does bring joy to my heart to see us siblings rallying together to support our parents. I guess it is true what they say about how, as children, our parents took care of us and supported us without asking for anything in return. Now that we are all grown up, it is our turn to take care of and support our parents who have raised us to be upright, loving men and women.
During our family council my dad brought up the notion of creating what he termed a "just shoot me" document, which essentially instructs us not to artificially prolong his life should something happen to his health. And earlier today, as I was talking with my mom, she mentioned that she felt she was getting old but at least she felt that she could leave this life happy, seeing how we, her children, had grown up. My heart now feels very heavy and I sincerely worry about how much time I have left with my parents. However, such thoughts also make me want to live my life better, in such a way that I will never bring shame or heartbreak to my parents.
And the other big issue which clouds my mind and is triggering a tumult of confusing emotions is my "marriage discernment" with my lovely girlfriend, Mitzi.
If you have never ever heard of that phrase before, all that basically boils down to is that we are now in the process of prayer and discussion with the goal of trying to determine whether or not we have what it takes to be successful as a married couple. It is a process of trying to learn more about each other and about ourselves. What makes us tick. What makes the other person tick. What areas are we compatible. What areas would we need to compromise on. Are there areas we refuse to compromise on. What are our attitudes towards family, in-laws, finances, children, etc.
The physical distance between us as we enter this stage of our relationship is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it gives us a better sense of objectivity to the whole matter (it is difficult to be objective about whether or not your relationship has the qualities which will ensure a lasting marriage when you get too caught up in the emotional response triggered by the presence of the other person) but also a curse because it deprives us of the day-to-day interaction which is also valuable in determining the quality of our relationship.
I truly and deeply love her. To paraphrase the words from the movie, "As Good As It Gets" she makes me want to become a better man. I want to spend as much time with her as possible. The days I spent in Bacolod enjoying her company was the highlight of this trip home.
So it should come as no surprise that I am feeling down that I now have to fly back to California while she remains in Bacolod.
While on an intellectual level I can understand and appreciate that having an objective view and discussion will be beneficial in the long run (and hey, if at the end of it all we decide that we are to spend the rest of our days together as a married couple, I should emotionally, spiritually, financially and professionally be able to back that decision; so I gotta work and make a living) it still does not make the physical separation any easier.
The events of the past few weeks, and the changes they invite me to make in myself are inspiring yet confusing. I feel more purposive in wanting to better myself, but I also feel lost, like I have been set adrift in a sea of stormy thought and emotions that could overwhelm me at any moment.
Yes, I am rambling. I did not name this blog "Deranged Ramblings" for nothing.
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Sat, 2006-01-14, 07:14 PST (-0800)Yeah, it is almost time for this vacation to come to an end. I fly back to the U.S. tomorrow evening (fly out of Manila at 10:30pm, scheduled to arrive in SFO at 6:30pm) and it is back to the grind.
Anyway, I met up with a couple of my old fencing buddies (who are now happily married to each other) for dinner earlier and here is a photo of us:
Yeah, we were all compatriots in the Ateneo Fencing League (AFL). Mariter and I are both class of 1998, Ike is class of 2001. Good dinner, we reminisced over a lot of fun memories of our college days. It was great seeing them again.
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Tue, 2006-01-03, 23:46 PST (-0800)Yup, I'm back here in the Philippines for the holidays. So far, I have not contracted any new exotic tropical diseases. ;-)
Anyway, just wanted to share some new photos:
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Thu, 2005-12-01, 13:28 PST (-0800)I first spotted this quiz on a friend's blog, CHRONICLES OF A WOULD-BE 'SCHIZO'.
Rice: The ultimate Filipino food. Simple and goes
with everything.
Which Filipino Food Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Tue, 2005-09-06, 15:18 PDT (-0700)Piro, over at Megatokyo, has put together an information page of resources for helping the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Every little bit will help so let us all do our part to help our less fortunate brethren.
Of particular interest to me (and to most any Halo / Halo 2 player out there) is the "Fight the Flood T-Shirt" that is mentioned in the abovementioned page. Aside from the really neat (IMHO) design, at least $15 from each shirt sold will be going to the Red Cross. I am sending the link to the shirt around to all my Halo loving friends and relatives and I will probably order a couple of shirts myself.
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Wed, 2005-08-31, 14:18 PDT (-0700)Lets admit it, Californians are spoiled. This is especially true in terms of internet access, where pretty much every home has an internet connection and you are considered uncool if you are still using dial-up because broadband is so readily available.
With internet access being pretty much a given for most Californians, it is so easy to not realize that the rest of the world is not quite as "connected" as California is.
Where am I going with this? Well, here at work we are now in the process of doing interviews for candidates for our Singapore office. One aspect of the interview requires concurrent internet access during the interview. It is essentially a timed test wherein the interviewer sends something to the candidate via email, the candidate plays with it and then after a specific period of time, emails stuff back. Then the interviewer and the candidate discuss the results. The candidates we are currently interviewing are located in Singapore or some other Southeast Asian country (one candidate is actually from the Philippines, and is even from the same region that my girlfriend is from - 'tis a small world, indeed).
Problem: being spoiled Californians that we are, it was an assumption on our part that they had internet access at home and could readily check email when we would call them up for the phone interview. Truth of the matter was, the candidates did not and so we were forced to scramble and re-schedule these interviews to find a time when (1) the interviewers were available and (2) the candidates would be in a position to have internet access and could readily check email (incidentally, most have to do them in internet cafés). It is a non-trivial task when you consider the time difference; California is currently at UTC-7 and Singapore is at UTC+8 so there is currently a 15 hour time difference between the regions.
The lesson here is, never just assume stuff but instead always make sure to first verify these assumptions. As the saying goes, when you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U and ME.
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Mon, 2005-08-29, 20:00 PDT (-0700)Over the weekend I got an invite to join Friendster from my older brother. Since I figured I really did not have much to lose by doing so, I have decided to sign up. My profile is here:
http://www.friendster.com/useropen.php?uid=21307514
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Wed, 2005-08-24, 18:18 PDT (-0700)After much delay from SCEA with regards to the North American availability of the PSP 2.00 Firmware update (it was released in Japan last month and was originally announced to be released in North America on August 12th), the update is finally officially available on the US PlayStation site as of today:
http://www.us.playstation.com/PSP.aspx?id=softwareupdate
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Tue, 2005-07-26, 13:08 PDT (-0700)Gotta thank Hobbes for emailing this one to me.
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